“It’s our polite nudge in the ribs to help you and your team stay organised and on task.”
This week’s subject is: Self-regulation.
Element 5.2.2: Each child is supported to regulate their own behaviour, respond appropriately to the behaviour of others and communicate effectively to resolve conflicts.
How intentionally do educators model, teach and support self-regulation throughout the day, and what messages do children receive from the way adults respond to emotions, conflict, frustration and challenging situations?
Supporting children to regulate their own behaviour isn’t just about teaching them to “control” their emotions. Rather, it involves supporting children to develop the skills, knowledge and confidence to recognise, understand and manage their emotions, behaviours and social interactions in increasingly independent ways. Self-regulation develops over time through responsive relationships, consistent support and meaningful opportunities to practise these skills in real-life situations. Children aren’t born knowing how to manage disappointment, negotiate disagreements, cope with frustration or recover from setbacks. These abilities develop gradually, over time, through repeated experiences with caring adults who provide guidance, encouragement and co-regulation.
Quality practice begins with understanding that behaviour is a form of communication. When children become overwhelmed, dysregulated or struggle to respond appropriately in social situations, they are often communicating an unmet need, a developing skill, or a challenge they do not yet have the capacity to manage independently.
Educators play a critical role in helping children build these skills by responding with empathy, consistency, intentionality and by being positive role models in managing their own behaviour and how they interact with others.
The role of co-regulation:
Before children can regulate independently, they first learn through co-regulation.
Co-regulation occurs when educators intentionally support children to manage emotions, behaviour and social situations through calm, responsive interactions. Through these experiences, children gradually internalise the strategies and skills they observe and experience.
This requires educators to remain emotionally available and responsive, particularly during moments when children are distressed, frustrated or experiencing conflict.
Educators as models of self-regulation:
One of the most powerful influences on children’s self-regulation is the behaviour they observe in the adults around them.
Children learn not only from what educators say, but from how educators respond to challenges, manage stress, communicate with others and navigate conflict.
This raises important questions for ECEC teams to consider:
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- How do educators model calm and respectful responses when faced with challenging situations?
- What do children observe when educators experience frustration, disappointment or competing demands?
- How do educators support one another to remain regulated during busy, stressful or emotionally demanding parts of the day?
- Are educators consciously demonstrating the strategies they hope children will develop themselves?
When educators verbalise their thinking and emotions in age-appropriate ways, children gain valuable insight into self-regulation processes. Statements such as, “I’m feeling a little frustrated because this isn’t working the way I expected. I’m going to take a breath and try again.” help children understand that all emotions are normal, that they’re experienced by all of us and that there are constructive ways to manage them.
Creating environments that support self-regulation:
The physical and social environment plays a significant role in supporting children’s ability to regulate their emotions and behaviour.
Educators can intentionally design environments that promote feelings of safety, security and belonging while reducing unnecessary stressors that may contribute to dysregulation.
This may include:
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- predictable yet flexible routines
- thoughtfully designed spaces that minimise overcrowding and excessive noise
- quiet areas where children can rest, reflect or regulate emotions
- visual supports that help children recognise and communicate feelings
- opportunities for children to make choices and exercise agency
- environments that reflect and value children’s identities, cultures and experiences.
When children feel safe, connected and respected, they are better equipped to engage positively with others and develop increasing independence in managing their emotions and behaviour.
Teaching self-regulation through everyday experiences:
Supporting self-regulation shouldn’t be limited to responding when challenges arise. It’s most effective when intentionally embedded throughout everyday practice.
Educators can support children to develop self-regulation by:
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- helping children identify, name and express emotions
- discussing feelings, perspectives and social situations during play and conversations
- supporting children to solve problems and negotiate conflicts collaboratively
- encouraging children to consider the impact of their actions on others
- modelling empathy, patience and respectful communication
- providing opportunities for children to practise turn-taking, waiting, persistence and cooperation
- using stories, visual displays, games, role play and group discussions to explore emotions and social skills
- acknowledging children’s efforts to regulate emotions and behaviour.
Importantly, educators recognise that self-regulation develops differently for every child and that expectations should be responsive to each child’s age, development, strengths, experiences and individual circumstances.
Working in partnership with families:
As we know, children are most effectively supported when educators and families work collaboratively to promote consistent approaches and shared understandings.
Open communication with families helps educators gain insight into children’s strengths, interests, experiences and individual support needs. Families can also provide valuable information about strategies that are effective at home, while educators can share observations strategies and tailored approaches used within the service.
Where additional support is required, educators may also collaborate with schools, health practitioners and other specialists to ensure children receive coordinated and consistent support across settings.
Questions to guide team reflection:
As part of your ongoing critical reflection, consider:
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- How do we intentionally teach self-regulation skills rather than only responding when behaviour becomes challenging?
- How effectively do our environments and routines support children’s emotional wellbeing and regulation? What adjustments can be made to better support children to feel calm and secure? What strategies can be implemented to promote predictable routines and help children navigate transitions successfully?
- How effectively have we embedded a consistent, service-wide approach to supporting children’s behaviour and self-regulation, and how do we know this is reflected in the practice of all educators?
- How do we ensure our expectations for children’s behaviour and self-regulation are realistic, developmentally appropriate and responsive to individual strengths, abilities and circumstances?
- How do we support children to express their views, listen to others, negotiate outcomes and contribute to resolving conflicts in ways that respect the rights, feelings and perspectives of others?
- How effectively do educators model emotional awareness, self-regulation and respectful relationships throughout the day, and how does this influence children’s developing capacity to regulate their own emotions and behaviour?
- How do our learning environments support children to develop agency, problem-solving skills and increasing capacity to manage social situations independently?
- How do our interactions support children to move from co-regulation towards increasing independence in managing emotions, behaviour and social situations?
- What systems do we have in place to support educators’ own wellbeing and self-regulation?
- How do our interactions help children develop empathy, resilience and an understanding of the impact of their actions on others?
- How effectively do educators use co-regulation strategies to support children during times of stress, frustration, conflict or emotional overwhelm?
- To what extent do educators view behaviour as a form of communication and seek to understand the emotions, needs or circumstances influencing children’s behaviour?
- How do we collaborate with families and other professionals to promote consistent approaches that support children’s social and emotional wellbeing?
Supporting children to regulate their own behaviour is an ongoing process that is embedded in relationships, environments and everyday interactions. It requires educators to move beyond simply managing behaviour and instead focus on building children’s social and emotional capabilities over time.
When educators intentionally model self-regulation, provide responsive co-regulation, create supportive environments and view every interaction as a learning opportunity, children develop the skills they need to manage emotions, build positive relationships and participate successfully in their communities.
Resources for services:
QA5 information sheet – Supporting children to regulate their own behaviour
Guide to the NQF: Standard 5.2: Relationships between children, Element 5.2.2: Self-regulation
The Spoke: The role of co-regulation in building self-regulation skills in our infants and children
Learning Links: Co-regulation strategies (for infants – adolescents)
Resources for families:
Raising Children Network- Self-regulation
Developing your child’s emotional literacy
A Parent’s Guide: Supporting Your Child’s Self-Regulation
Within System7 go to Quality Area 5/Module 6 to submit self-assessment notes and if required, open a QIP issue if you identify any areas of improvement.
The Desktop has a range of resources to assist services with behaviour guidance. These include Behaviour Guidance Policy, Behaviour Guidance Procedure, Behaviour Guidance Audit, Behaviour Guidance Plan, Behaviour Guidance Biting Guide, Behaviour Guidance- Promoting and Supporting Positive Behaviour and much more.
Resources, NQS Element, Regulation and System7 links:
The Desktop – The Desktop
National Quality Standard – QA5 / Element: 5.2.2
National Law – 166– Offence to use inappropriate discipline, 166A– Offence to subject child to inappropriate conduct [NSW]
National Regulations – Part 4.5- Relationships with children, 168 (2)(j) – Education and care service must have policies and procedures
System7 Module – QA 5/ Module 6
If you have any questions, send us a note via the Contact page here!
